Chicago Hot Dogs

I was born and raised just outside of Chicago where I lived there until 1999. I have lived in Michigan ever since.

I was visiting Chicago this past weekend and took my sons to the famous Mickey’s Red Hots on Mannheim Rd, just a stones throw from my childhood home in Hillside.

You might know that Chicagoans are little bitches when it comes to hot dogs. Some people insist that if you don’t eat a hot dog the way they like it, that you are somehow a defective person.

Except here’s the thing... I still do not like Chicago-style Hot Dogs. You can’t make me. Hot dogs are gross enough as it is, without bringing a shit ton of gross condiments into the mix. So if I’m eating a hot dog, its just ketchup or plain. I don’t like mustard. I don’t like relish. I don’t like pickles on my hot dogs.

Cut to me waiting in line to order hot dogs for myself and my three picky sons. I just want 4 hot dogs. Two plain, two with ketchup.

The guy in front of me in line ordered his food…

Cashier: “What do you want?”

Guy: “One hot dog.”

Cashier: “With everything?”

Guy: “Just ketchup.” (phew, I’m not the only one!)

Cashier: “Is this for a baby?” (uproarious laughter from all the employees and all the other people in line)

SON OF A BITCH!

But then, I actually got a friendly cashier so I didn’t have to suffer the same humiliation. I was able to get out of there with my 4 baby hot dogs without so much as a chuckle.

Can we stop telling people what to eat and how they should eat it? How is that your business? If I want to eat my hot dog with tuna and gummy bears, how is that your business?

Let’s try letting each other just BE for a while. I bet we actually like it.